David's Story
Suggestion: Add some intro text here, and as you mentioned, you could add some info around David’s struggle and what did/didn’t help here, and then mention that people can read about various areas of his life below, with shortcut to each sectoin in the following “index menu”.
David's name and love of the outdoors
David, or Dave to his friend, was also known as ‘Divad’ by his close family. He got this name when he was about 9 years old. His grandad had bought Christmas cards for all his grandchildren. These had been carefully chosen to represent each of their characters. Unfortunately, when writing them out the cards got muddled up … David’s was the last to be written and the greeting on the front included the word ‘Diva’ (it had been selected for one of his sisters!). Being a creative and cheeky grandad, he added the letter ‘d’ on the end of Diva … and from then on the name ‘Divad’ stuck.
This rather unorthodox name suited David’s character well. At a young age it became clear that David didn’t like to conform. In fact, he became known as the ‘runner’. He ran from his nan when he was about two and half … it took her nearly an hour to catch him and return! He ran from other family members, from friends’ homes, he ran from school, he ran from the ice rink in an unfamiliar town … but he always ran home. He only ran away from home once, and that was so his mum wouldn’t get into trouble for not sending him to school. He reasoned that if he wasn’t there, she couldn’t be expected to send him! He took his cadet gear (including combat dress and camo cream) and was found a couple of days later in the woods living on baked beans and coco-pops while trying to catch fish in a small lake.
From the start David loved being outdoors – and all that went with it … time in the forest, hikes along the cliffs or across the moor. David loved to camp and enjoyed time at the beach too. As a teenager he did a great job of windsurfing and canoeing. In fact, anything David decided to put his mind to he did well.
Messages from friends & family
Only those who loved them know what that little line is worth – messages sent in by David’s friends and family help to illustrate what his ‘dash’ was worth, and why it needs extending in his name to help others …
Dave
Quirky, Magnetic
Accepting, Forgiving, Unflinching
Kindness, Courage, Sweetness, Truth
Admired, Respected, Treasured
Unrivalled, Unforgettable
Irreplaceable
My Best Friend
To be best friends is a true gift,
To share things together, and to care and uplift.
In good times and bad, the bond will endure.
Whether happy or sad, the love will be pure.
One day we will meet again in Valhalla,
Raising our glasses to the life we led.
Goodbye for now, my best friend.
Today I weep, but not for me.
I weep for all the tomorrows that you will never see.
It’s not my loss that makes me sad.
It’s thinking what you never had.
Ride high Dave – you deserved so much more. May you find the peace and rest you needed.
Losing a friend is like a wound that bleeds. A pain that lingers and never recedes.
It’s a void that’s left within your heart,
A piece of you that’s torn apart.
The memories of the times you shared, the laughter and the love you bared.
All come flooding back, like a wave,
Reminding you of what you couldn’t save.
You wonder how it all went wrong,
And what you could’ve done to keep it strong. But sometimes, no matter how hard you’ve tried, the friendship fades, and you don’t know why.
Losing a friend is like losing a part of you. A piece that can’t be replaced or renewed.
It’s a pain that stings and never quite heals;
A wound that aches and never quite feels.
But though the friendship may be gone,
The memories will forever live on,
Remind you of the love you shared, and the moments that you truly cared.
So hold onto the memories, and cherish them tight,
For they’re a reminder of love and light.
And though the friendship may have come to an end, the love and the memories will forever transcend.
Never Nobody – Kristina Mar
(A poem shared to bear witness to David’s life and experience …)
It’s true, I cannot always see
The forest for the trees. But that means
When one falls, there is never nobody
There to hear it.
I tell them that I’m sorry,
I say, I know
It hurts
To fall.
But I will be your witness,
Telling the world both
That you stood
And that you fell.
(and that you were beautiful)
Dave was someone very rare and special. Someone who was worth getting to know and whose friendship I’ve been very lucky to have.
He was one of the sweetest people I have ever known. He was so decent, so genuine.
He had the purest heart; he was never judgmental, and he wasn’t capable of unkindness.
He was a one-off in the very best way. And he deserved so much more from life. I hope his beautiful soul is now at perfect peace.
The Night of Madness
Be it the first time we met was at an alternative event but the talks we had of hobbies, games and airsoft and the laughs we shared since then over airsoft are unforgettable. Despite the night we met being chaos, with people getting hurt and having to watch over someone with a first aid eye, it gave me a very good friend with a heart of gold, and you will be missed.
You will continue to live on like Gold in my memories.
Two days old
David, I met you when you were 2 days old, at Romsey Hospital baby unit. You were there with your mum and I was there with my new-born daughter Sarah. You were born 1 day apart. I have lovely memories of that time. We were peaceful, protected, and nurtured. Out in the real world I watched you grow into an active toddler and young boy. You loved war-hammer and fantasy games. I remember going to the war-hammer shop with you and not having a clue what it was all about. You loved your figures but mostly you loved being outdoors in your camouflage clothes, like a soldier on manoeuvres, in the wild, in the forest anywhere that you had the freedom to be you. Being indoors seemed to restrict you, something would set you off and you would run, from school, from home, from anywhere. As an adult I witnessed your life through your mum. I know you were kind, thoughtful and sensitive. Someone for your nephews and niece to look up to. I hope you are at peace now David, as you were when we first met.
LIDL Warehouse Guardian Angel
I first met Dave at the start of my first night shift at the LIDL warehouse in Exeter. Dave was there to look after me as my training mentor and he did an utterly wonderful job of it.
He introduced himself as soon as I got there. His role was to accompany me through every stage of the job that night, make sure I understood what to do and give support and advice wherever it was needed.
Dave made me feel at ease immediately. He was a warm, kind, and soothing presence and I felt an instant sense of safety with him.
He went through every little bit of the job with me, every single step of the way. He explained everything clearly and was endlessly patient and encouraging. He didn’t pretend I was doing a brilliant job when I wasn’t, but he encouraged me constantly and made me believe I could do it. He made me feel capable and valued and that meant a hell of a lot on that terrifying first night.
Dave took time to put me at ease by also chatting about stuff like family and that kind of thing. He made sure I stopped work and had a strong coffee at one point when the tiredness was taking over. And he sent me home early to get some sleep, saying I should leave while I was still awake enough to drive.
Dave was like a guardian angel. His kindness and encouragement made a world of difference to a petrified new starter. Dave’s kindness and warmth meant everything that night.
The many faces of David
David certainly did things differently, and he charted an unconventional course. He found school impossible to stick with but gained a lot from his time at college.
He had a variety of job roles from fast food delivery rider to warehouse man. He also worked as a night porter at a large hotel and in student halls, and in both put his practical skills to good use. He was proud to a gain his SIA card and was valued as a diplomatic and firm security guard at local pubs, clubs, and public events. David enjoyed working night shifts and being able to help others. He was respected for his fairness and patience. This was evident in his role as training mentor and his ability to stand up what was right.
He was equally at home acting the clown or being engaged in serious debate.
Heart of Gold
David cared deeply about his family. Although he didn’t have time to visit often, when he did, he enjoyed family gatherings.
He doted on his nephews and niece and wanted the very best for his stepchildren even though one of his biggest regrets was not having his own children.
Despite his height and strength, and the tough exterior he sometimes presented, David was kind and patient man, earning him the nickname ‘Gentle Giant’.
He was more than generous with his time and attention, often giving at his own expense. For a long time, he was the only male his mum’s rescue dog could tolerate.
David’s Bikes
David started learning to drive in his late teens but soon lost interest, preferring to walk. It was only in his later twenties that he decided he needed transport to increase his job prospects. He started off on a second-hand bike doing fast-food deliveries.
When that was stolen while delivering, he changed his job and bought a new bike. This soon became too small and slow, so he took his ‘big boy’ test and bought a new cruiser (the same bike that is now being used for David’s Dash).
David loved his big bike, even in the cold and wet. For over a year he commuted between Southampton and Exeter every four days while he looked for a job locally.
Once his mum got her trike (which no matter how much he tried, he just could not ride in a straight line), they talked about bike trips together. The big dream was travel to Norway to visit the Viking settlement and his great grandfather’s war grave in Trondheim. Then they wanted to visit the famous bike rally in Sturges, USA.
David's love of combat
David was always interested in combat.
As a young teen he set his heart on joining the army.
While a cadet his marksmanship and understanding of combat strategy earned him recognition. Unfortunately, he developed asthma, and this meant he couldn’t enlist and had to find other ways to develop his passion.
This started by teaching himself how to make chain mail from fence wire. This took many hours as each ring had to be formed and cut individually.
He then moved onto making armour from steel sheet. He spent many hours cutting, hammering, riveting, and polishing in the garden shed. Many of the pieces he made required buckles, hinges, and straps. He taught himself how to make these too, preferring to create them from scratch rather than buy them prefabricated. He sold most of the pieces he made, but only really charged people enough to cover materials and a bit over.
David also enjoyed Live Action Role Play (LARP) and airsoft. This eventually led him to join an airsoft unit and he became their training officer.
Once his mum got her trike (which no matter how much he tried, he just could not ride in a straight line), they talked about bike trips together. The big dream was travel to Norway to visit the Viking settlement and his great grandfather’s war grave in Trondheim. Then they wanted to visit the famous bike rally in Sturges, USA.